Helping Children Adjust to a Blended Family

Blended families are becoming more and more common as people enter new relationships and marriages in the aftermath of divorces or the death of spouses. However, this newly created family tends to take a significant toll on the psyche of children born in previous families.

As such, the team at Manotick Marriage would like you to know how to help children adjust to blended families.

Issues Children Face In Blended Families

Children might have some difficulties in the new dynamic created by the union of two families. These issues include:

1. Adjusting to the new parents, especially in the wake of a divorce or a parent’s death. This could lead to feelings of resentment, confusion or betrayal towards their biological parent.
2. Adjusting to new siblings, leading to jealousy and resentment towards their step-siblings or newly born children.
3. Discipline issues especially if the parents use different methods of parenting and have different expectations and rules for their children.
4. Difficulty communicating openly with parents and siblings, especially if there are unresolved emotional issues or conflicts.
5. Cultural differences when the parents come from different ethnic or cultural backgrounds.

Techniques to Help Children Adjust in Blended Families

Resolving these issues can be difficult, but not impossible. Here are some techniques that can help children better adjust to their new living situation.

1. Open and honest communication of the family’s needs, concerns and feelings can help resolve conflicts brewing in the family. This can help build strong connections in the family.
2. Establishing clear boundaries for parenting and discipline can facilitate the children’s adjustment to the blended family. The set guidelines need to stay consistent and fair at all times, especially concerning rules and consequences.
3. Encouraging and promoting activities that forge bonds between the children and their step-parent or step-sibling facilitate the adjustment process. Fun outings like picnics or theme parks and indoor activities like games and movies can bring the family closer and help children adjust to the family’s new makeup.
4. Focusing on the positives of the new family dynamic is also key. Allowing children to celebrate family milestones and successes allows them to resolve their negative perception of their situation. This serves to remind them of how the good times and love that united the families in the first place.
5. If all else fails, a counsellor or a therapist can help children resolve their issues. The experience they have in providing guidance and support is invaluable for situations like these.

Tips for Parents to Help Children Adjust

As the adjustment process goes on, here are some tips parents can use to facilitate the process. 

1. Be patient with the children as they navigate their new feelings, relationships and parental dynamics.
2. Acknowledge and validate their feelings, positive or negative, by listening empathetically.
3. Using consistent routines for meals, sleeping, family activities, etc, can also help children adjust to blended families.
4. Avoid comparing children to each other, especially biological children and step-children.
5. Do not force relationships on the children, respect and honour all boundaries.

Manotick Marriage: Friendly and Supportive Therapy Specialists

While blended families offer many valuable benefits, they also present unique challenges, especially concerning children’s reactions. With a patient and pragmatic approach, the children can adjust to the new family and have a happy life in it.

Please contact us if you would like some more information on counselling for blended families. Manotick Marriage is here to provide you and your family with the proper resources to succeed. Our counsellors are well-trained and highly experienced in helping blended families come together. Choose us to strengthen the bonds in your family.